Watched: Over the Top [Rifftrax]

This movie is so, so, so, so stupid. Words defy me.

  

Pretty cool child abuse there, Sly. Very cool movie, so inspirational.

Watched: Twilight: Breaking Dawn, Part 1 [Rifftrax]

Flashbacks to the American Psycho business card scene, except 1000% less brilliant. If only I were watching that movie instead.

I simultaneously covet these shoes and kind of think it looks like a bedazzled crustacean has taken up residence on the front of them, like maybe a diamond-bodied hermit crabbing is considering them for its new abode. Also, I actually read these books because I am the worst person alive and my sister-in-law lent them them to me and even after watching this movie, the weirdness of Bella and clothes/food/anything feminine is still overwhelmingly confusing. Like, okay you're a clumsy Bella-type and your bossy sister-in-law wants you to look appropriately swank for your wedding but know thine self, you know? Say no tot he crab-harboring stilettos.

ACTING.

EVEN MORE... ACTING.

That bizarre painting, though. And so many lamps! Rifftrax really gets into the odd decorating choices of Bella's bedroom and once you see that beagle-faced painting, you can't unsee it.

  

People thought these movies were romantic, you guys. Is this like, 35% character insight and 65% an excuse to do the wedding scene twice in a movie that is already bloating with wedding industrial complex pandering? Yes.

Don't worry Anna Kendrick, you're almost done with this chapter of your life forever!

The closest these movies have ever come to my believing these two actually even like each other. This scene lasts about 12 seconds.

Honeymoon chess.

  

Yeeesh. THESE ARE CONSIDERED ROMANCE.

Romance.

I am reminded of this.

Watched: Twilight: Eclipse [Rifftrax]

This movie has several actors who I could have sworn were better than this but apparently are, in fact, not. For example: Anna Kendrick. Although maybe she did the first one at a point in her career where she felt like she couldn't be so discerning, and then had a contractual/guilt-based reason for doing the others?

So many scenes of people standing around, making dumbly/poorly-reasoned arguments...

Nice period costumes in this sequence, though.

The posing for this shot is just, like, too much. It kind of reminds me of some shots from the Avengers films, actually. So strategic, everyone fitting into frame just so...

BWUHAHAHA

Cowboy/Civil War vampires. Probably my favorite of all the ridiculous back stories that our supposed main characters FINALLY receive, just a mere three movies into the series.

BWUHAHAHA

Okay that shot is cool. I'll give you that one, Twilight: Eclipse.