Watched: Constantine (2005)

Really cool and very helpful opening text. Who said this? Oh, it doesn't matter? Oh, this is made more or less obvious in the opening scene when a Mexican man finds the sword buried in a Nazi flag beneath a burned out church and doesn't need this clumsily-written, very stupid introduction? Cool cool cool, we're off to a great start.

I remember when Constantine came out, I was in high school and I'm pretty sure I saw it in the theater. It's mostly significant to me for stoking my love of Tilda Swinton, who I had seen in Thumbsucker and who I knew was going to be in The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. She's fantastic in her small role her as a deranged and self-destructive Gabriel.

Keanu is... not fantastic. When you're in a scene with the lead singer of Bush and he manages to, in his cringe-worthy over-the-top way, out-act you... you're in trouble. Rachel Weisz doesn't have a lot to do but she does her best to breathe a little life into her psychic damsel in distress. Her character is given some agency early in the story, as she is a police officer and she is actively seeking the cause of her twin sister's suicide... but soon enough she ends up possessed by the son of the devil (as you do) and it's up to our supposed anti-hero Constantine to save her. Honestly Keanu does alright when Constantine is not required to do much but smoke and glower or spout vague, cynical observations about the world but as soon as the movie requires him to show a little anger his shortcomings are hard to miss. Again, Gavin Rossdale playing a demon has more facial expressions. 

This was a cool scene though. The movie is full of cool scenes and if only the plot didn't tie itself in knots to make Constantine both the good guy and the morally ambiguous guy. Which is not even that ambiguous unless you're a crazy hardliner Catholic.

Subtle.

So subtle. So much subtle imagery.

Maybe one of the coolest set-pieces of the film. Good thing they made an action figure out of it.

Yep. Yep yep yep.

SOOOO SUBTLE!!1!!

Hey, baby Michelle Monaghan! This is like blink-and-you-miss-it, she's in the demon mob that gather in the hospital towards the end of the film to witness the... emergence? of Satan's son. 

There are a few weird continuity issues related to Constantine's blood and his wounds towards the end that really irked me but I was eager to finish the film and didn't stop to record them. Mostly that the spread of his blood seems to go advance and retreat, that his slit wrists impede and then don't impede control of his finger movement, that the blood itself looks like raspberry jam (in 2005). There's also, to my mind, the EXTREMELY convoluted negotations between Constantine, the devil, his son, Gabriel, and God that are just like... okay. This is not... great. But I do like the imagery of Keanu being pulled towards heaven and snootily giving Peter Stormare's Lucifer the finger until he grabs a hold of him in like a loving embrace to pull him back. That was pretty good. Actually all of Stormare's performance is great but then again what would you expect? Good movie, bad movie, the guy is a pro.

Watched: The Babadook

This is a really well-made horror movie. It has an artsy perfection to the staging, sets and costuming that reminds me a lot of Kubrick. The jumps are used sparingly as well, much like they are in his The Shining. I think it tells a really interesting story, too, about the physical manifestation of the things we try to repress. Obviously it's not realistic but the emotions of all of the characters in the film feel relatable and real. So it's well made and also well acted. It took me a little bit to settle into these performances, the main actress and the boy who plays her son give very frank, earnest delivery of their lines in a way that reminded me of Lynch and the surreality that his characters deliveries of their lines give to this films. In a good way, though. Also the actual monster is super creepy.

I actually jumped out of my skin at this shot both times I watched the movie, because although that is not the Babadook and is fact just a lamp something about the outline looks kind of like his top hat? or something and creeped me the fuck out. BOTH TIMES.

Got me here, too.

This, I think, is the scene where the tension and anxiety I was feeling stopped being a result of fear of the next jump or weird image and started being psychological. The mother character, Amelia, spends the first act of the film getting more and more distressed and afraid of this monster that is terrorizing her and her son and then suddenly, in the middle of act two, she just goes totally calm and numb and we get this scene of her sitting, in all her clothing, in the bathtub. All deadened acceptance and placid numbness. It's more terrifying than all of the jump cuts in the movie put together.

Watched: The Crown [TV, season 1]

Here are all the corgis (and a couple of pugs) spotted in season one of Netflix's The Crown, which tells the story of Queen Elizabeth II from the time of her wedding to Phillip until Churchill's retirement/her sister Margaret's wedding scandal. It's well-written, well-filmed, well-acted, SO very British (I actually put subtitles on because I couldn't understand actor Matt Smith who plays Philip at all) and very engrossing. The costuming is also gorgeous. My only true complaint is the lack of significant corgi representation. Here are all the instances where I spotted one, in order as I watched it.

Vacation corgi!

Mere background corgi.

In the early episodes, Elizabeth's uncle and famous abdicator from the throne Edward VIII and his pugs got more screentime than the royal corgis. They're quite, I guess, but they're definitely outshined by the bizarre and hilarious PUG PILLOWS. What?!

The first real corgi close-up we get. 

Historical research time. Sadly I could not find any picture of the queen with her corgis in the 1950's that identified them as Honey or Pippin. So let's assume these adorable canine actors are perfect casting. Sugar, however. Here's a picture of the queen with a corgi the caption tells us is Sugar.

Source: http://www.papergreat.com/2012/10/update-this-royal-dog-was-welsh-corgi.html

Compared with the middle corgi featured above (presumably Sugar, assuming the queen is addressing them according to how they are sitting) this pup is a LOT less fluffy. BUSTED.

This barely even counts.

Just chillin', waiting for their queen to hand out some treats.

I mean if Philip is going to run around with the kids the corgis are going to chase. Corgis are what they are.

Again, patiently waiting in the background for ol' Lilbet to sort her shit out so she can give them the attention they deserve.

Look how fucking bored that corgi is, peeking out behind her. This scene is obviously meant to encapsulate the transformation Elizabeth made throughout season one from still fairly green princess then suddenly queen and her slowly learning how to hide herself from everyone, even her family, in order to successfully carry out her responsibilities. And I would say that Claire Foy's acting in this scene is excellent. BUT I WAS DISTRACTED BY THE HOPELESSLY BORED CORGI IN THE BACKGROUND. That is a corgi who is also trying to discover itself, and find a royal presence it can present as its public face in order to protect itself from the public.

Watched: Anastasia (1956)

This movie's not exactly bad, it's sort of unimaginatively filmed and the story/characters feel pretty under-written but it almost coasts by on the charisma of its stars, Ingrid Bergman and Yul Brynner, except that the characters they play spend most of the film somehow as allies yet in constant contention. I honestly don't really buy the romance between them, especially because he spends most of the film scolding her or bossing her around it. It almost works. Almost.