...

I really thought that the cake had been taken back during winter break when hulu was frequently airing the banking ad with this individual-

Gross, right? I was almost equally disturbed by a visibly aged and possibly crack-addled Alton Brown...

When did he become so unfortunate? But no. I was wrong. Those ads are small fries, to be scoffed at and then ignored. They are nothing compared to possibly the most insidious, disgusting, and weird image I've seen in a long time. Behold, an advertisement I experienced earlier today on surfthechannel.com-

Feel free to stare. Experience it. Revel. Allow the horror to really dawn on you, and then feel free to go wash out your eyeballs with lye. But never fear! This thing cannot be unseen.

In an attempt to cleanse my mental pallete I have rewatched the trailer for 3:15: Showdown at Lincoln High: A Time to Die (I have no idea which one of these is the real title) and-

Mmm. DON'T WALK ON ME BRO. Adam Baldwin as Jeff Hanna... I will find you. Even if it means buying you on VHS and finding someone's grandmother who still owns a VCR, I will find you.