Belgium (Part Two): Bruges

So, in between the bookend Brussels days was my glorious expedition to Bruges. To anyone considering going to Bruges, DO IT. To anyone considering going to Bruges during Christmas time, DO NOT EVEN GIVE IT ANOTHER THOUGHT. Buy your tickets now. I was lone-wolfing it, being an asocial creep and I still loved every second of it. It's just so absurdly pretty. Everywhere you turn is either an old something something or at least something that looks like an old whatever whatever. It's magical. It's great. And if you only eat at the Christmas market food stands and supermarkets (plus one fairly affordable hotel bar) it's not too rough, financially. I mean it's no Göd but what is, right? Unfortunately since Belgium is on the Euro stuff IS more expensive, generally speaking, than in Hungary. But my airfare was cheap enough and my hostels weren't too bad so I decided to chalk it up as my birthday present to myself and leave it at that.

First sign, oh boy! It was pretty funny when I got off the train from Brussels, it felt like being part of a herd of cows all excitedly making our way towards the slaughterhouse. It became obvious I'd caught a popular train out and that we all essentially had the same idea when we all exited the train walked towards the town center as a congealed mass. At first I was really excited and stopped about every five feet or so to document something. Did I stop doing that at some point? I dunno, why don't you take a look at how long this post is and decide for yourself.

First church! It's a... church!!! Look how... churchy!!!

At last, I found myself at the first of several pockets of the "Brugge Christmas Market". I celebrated accordingly.

Finally, I made it to the Grand Markt! The rows and rows of waffles, french fries, fancy European hot dogs, soup, fried other things, and alchohol! Oh the hot wine! Everywhere you look, as far as the eye can see!

The central tower. I wish I could show some pictures from its summit, unfortunately when I walked inside I guessed the line looked to be about 2 hours long (and not moving) and cost way more Euro than I was really looking to invest.

Ice skaters!

www.shoppingbrugge.be! Those savvy Belgians know what they're doing.

The first of many, many helpings of french fries. These were covered in a spicy sweet mayonnaise that despite its overwhelmingly mayonnaise-based texture, I didn't even hate.

Lace Gobelins. It's not spelled perfectly but beggars of random bits of immaturity CANNOT be choosers.

Chocolate Santas, in all the colors of the chocolate rainbow (BWM-Black, White, Milk).

EUROPE.

Penny-farthing bicyclist. Hipsters? In Bruges? COLOR ME SHOCKED!

Stupid... guy...would you... get... outta... here...

EUROPE!!

Inside the Basilica of the Holy Blood. When I went inside to look around the cathedral there was actually a priest with the relic and people were going up to see it but he looked so crazy serious and then I accidentally made eye contact with him and he gave me a look that said "DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT IT I CAN TELL YOU ARE A GODLESS HEATHEN FROM HERE". Or maybe that was just his face. Either way, I quietly turned around and tried to leave as unobtrusively and quickly as possible. Uncomfortable.

Don't even really know what to say about this one. Just gonna leave it there.

This is the post office. THE POST OFFICE. THIS. IS. THE. POST. OFFICE.

Amidst all this culture and history there will always be a place for our hero, patchwork life-size jean horse. Let us never forget that. Where there is high art, where there is fine dining, where there are beautiful post offices and tree lined canals and basilicas full of holy blood, so too will there be our brave and noble friend.

As for the store name, I'm afraid I've spent all my snark on life-size patchwork jean horse. You'll have to mock that in your own special way, however you see fit.

Just a beautiful old archway, whatever. NBD.

My one regret from my time in Bruges, much like my one regret from my time in Brussels, is the museum I did NOT visit. In this instance, it was the French Fries Museum, which looked to be located inside an old church-like building. Sadly I miscalculated on this place's working hours and by the time I made my way over to this part of town its last tour had already left and with it, my one hope of learning the ins and outs of the mysterious potato and its long journey from pre-European South America to my mouth. Sigh. To comfort myself, I decided to have a little rest at a nearby hotel and drink some beer, eat some complimentary potato chips (bitter pill to swallow though they may be) and grab a little WIFI.

DE MUPPETS!!! Sadly, no actual muppets appeared to be sold here. High disappointment levels on that one.

Yeah, I mean I guess Bruges is okay by night. Like, it's no Camden, New Jersey but I guess not all cities can be.

Dali-esque display outside the art museum in the center of town, which was hosting a Dali exhibit. I didn't go in because there were too many other things I wanted to do but I did stop for a while to enjoy this display they put out on the side of the building. That's a wax model of Dali's head in the middle of the table, in case it's unclear.

Initially, I had planned to go find my hostel, drop my bag and head back out again. Then I got lost (SURPRISE) and it took me about an hour and a half to walk back. On top of all the walking I'd done that day, I decided to opt for plan B, which involved hanging out in the lounge and drinking from the cheap hostel bar. It was a good plan B.

The hostel was actually outside the canals of old Bruges which was cool, perhaps not so much on Saturday night but walking back towards the center of town on Sunday morning was very pretty and I squeezed in every last bit of wandering that I could.

Fortress.

Someone has some strong opinions on Bruges' UNESCO World Heritage site status. apparently.

Dragon benches and a giant, Harry Potter-esque chess board. And a cottage that is shaped interestingly. And some weird trees. Just a lot of visual information in this general area of Bruges.

Nunnery.

Sunday morning swans. As you do.

De Schacht!!! Did I genuinely think about stopping to try and buy half of the merchandise from this store, regardless of what it sold, despite not having any room or weight allowance left in my backpack? I did. Unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately for me) it was not yet open.

Europe.

Andthentherewastheuglymodernpartoftownanywaymovingon...

What was I saying? OH yes, that's right... EUROPE.

Over-thinking ruins you. Ruins the situation, twists things around, makes you worry and just makes everything much worse than it actually is.

This sign was weirdly apropos for me as I spent most of the weekend listening to my downloaded audiobook of The Brothers Karamazov. Oddly fitting.

Teacher's whisky. Because... of reasons.

Ooh! I vote for the Cocktail Andaluz! That was the sauce I had on my Pomme Frites and it was delicious. Now if Lay's can mass produce that same taste I will be a fan for life.

And that's all from my Bruges adventure! Actually there are many, MANY more photos but a lot of them are pretty redundant and also not very interesting. So this is the highlight reel. Like I said up top, if you are considering going to here, stop considering it. DO IT.