Watched: Reign of Fire

In lieu of my usual commentary, I would like to rehash some of my real-time comments sent via text during the viewing of this film. They display the immediacy and accurate disbelief I experienced while watching what was perhaps one of the dumber dystopian films I've ever seen. And I REALLY like dystopian films.

• watching reign of fire. double dose: bale and butler!
• mccon-a-hey-i-want-my-money-back is a laugh a minute.
• the dialogue is SO bad kathleen. its so BAD. and bale is really really trying.

bale: if you try anything, i'll kill you.

hay: can i getcha name?

bale: quinn.

end scene.

• WTF! Bale just busted out a horse! They dont have enough food to feed their kids and they clearly havent showered in years but they can keep a healthy full figured horse around? No. Not okay, movie. Not okay.

bale: what are you doing here? whats your reason for being here?

obligatory hot female interest: you want to know anything, just ask.

end scene.

What the fuck? He DID ask! He just asked!

bale: youre standing on ground where Ive buried hundreds. this is my home. Im asking the questions. What are you doing here?

hay: i lead. you follow.

end scene.

Haha so hayhay and bale start fighting bc hay is recruiting men to go after the male dragon and before bale can even throw the first punch hays shirt is GONE. hilar.

• the dragons are apparently racist. Not a single black british character, and only one black american whose killed within minutes of introduction. Nice, movie. Real classy.

Hay: we have paid a terrible price. And now we have a chance to make a difference. (Nods to himself.) We will.

End scene.

• He just leaped into a dragons mouth. I repeat, hay just jumped off a tower ax first into a dragons mouth. That was the stupidest thing Ive ever seen. I fucking love this movie!

Gerard!
YIKES.