Reading: The Brothers Karamazov

What comfort is it to me that there are none 

guilty and that cause follows effect simply and 

directly, and that I know it? — I must have justice, 

or I will destroy myself. And not justice in some 

remote infinite time and space, but here on earth, 

and that I could see myself. I have believed in it. I 

want to see it, and if I am dead by then, let me rise 

again, for if it all happens without me, it will be too 

unfair. Surely I haven’t suffered simply that I, my 

crimes and my sufferings, may manure the soil of 

the future harmony for somebody else. I want to 

see with my own eyes the hind lie down with the 

lion and the victim rise up and embrace his 

murderer. I want to be there when everyone 

suddenly understands what it has all been for. 

--Ivan Fyodorovitch Karamazov, Book 5, Chapter 4: The Rebellion


This book is really great and also is kicking my ass.