A Fistful of Ðồng Tiền (or, Vietnam: the first few months)

Hey remember that time I moved to my fourth country in 3 years, and it no longer felt strange or particularly frightening to do so? Me too. This was that time.

The airport in Taipei was really cool. Most of the terminals were themed and had some sort of interesting display, which is hokey but preferable to the sanitized nothingness of a lot of airports, and there were some interesting rooms whose only purpose was to be a space for travelers to relax, like this garden, a small art gallery, and the prayer rooms.

"Green Relaxing Zone".

Plastic plants. Boo. But still a nice idea?

All the information on bugs you could possibly want or need. Unless you are an entomologist in which case this is probably a disappointingly scant amount of information. Perspective!

A mail-themed terminal. I took these mostly because they reminded me of Joanna and my misfortune with the Albanian airport in Tirane and its heartbreaking lack of post office. I'm not sure if this airport had a post office or not. 

I'll just let that little plaque speak for me on this one.

Of course I HAD to take some photos of C5, the library-themed terminal, especially since there were multiple Sherlock Holmes books featured. What? Go on with your bad selves, Taipei!

Chasing the euphoria of a Sherlock Holmes reference with the despair and bewilderment of stumbling upon the Hello Kitty terminal. But... why?

Art gallery in the airport. 

  

I want to own that dragon head.

Insert thought-provoking and well-written commentary on the similarities and differences of all religion and the shared need for respite in the maelstrom that is international travel here. 

My only view of the outside world while in this airport, besides the tarmac. 

First glimpses of Vietnam: 

  

Looks....brown.

Noi Bai International Airport! 

  

Looks pretty much like most airports. 

The TA's who came to pick me up at the airport brought me some "lucky money" because I arrived during the last days of Tết festival, or Vietnamese New Year. It was a nice welcome, although the welcome might have been nicer if they had known what hotel my new employers were putting me up in. Little stressful moments, a common occurrence in my life here, beginning right from day one. They did eventually figure it out and help me get there.

My hotel. Pretty nice, good service, cheap breakfast, decent enough room. They put me up on the 3rd or 4th floor (can't remember) which was a bit of a haul without an elevator but I'm glad they did, since it was really quiet and Old Quarter is a noise-filled whirlwind of activity from the buttcrack of dawn until the police shut things down around midnight.

The alley outside my hotel. Funnily enough, I've actually been back here many times as it's the easiest place to park my beloved bicycle, Kis Ló (Little Horse), while drinking at Lenna and my favorite bia hơi.

  

My first day, after arriving, was not particularly exciting. This helpful map did not fall into my hands until day 2 or 3, when some unfortunate tourist forgot it on the shelf of a small market near the cathedral and I excitedly grabbed it while shopping for shampoo. Before that I was using a map the hotel gave me, which was a black-and-white photocopy of a photocopy of a photocopy of a not very well-labeled map. So yeah, got lost a few times on the onset. But after arriving and finding my hotel, the TA's left me to my own devices. So I went out, immediately got turned around in Old Quarter, found my way to Hoan Kiem lake, walked around it, had terrible blisters on my feet from my new shoes, bought some beer and some snacks, and went back to my room to collapse. All of my instruments that could provide the time (laptop, iPod, American phone) said something different so I really had no concept of time on that first day but I believe I fell asleep some time around 7 PM and woke up at 4 AM. Very successful transition to ICT, I'd say.

Hoàn Kiếm Lake, or Lake of the Returned/Restored Sword, the center of Hanoi, and perhaps one of its most iconic sights, the Tháp Rùa. 

Next to the lake...

People really can't help themselves. 

First impressions of Hanoi:

smell: incense, fish stock

sound: motorbikes

sights: a LOT more hammer and sickles than I have ever seen at one time

sensations: good God have I moved to the surface of the sun? I have never been so hot in my entire life, how are people wearing long sleeves?? 

  

  

Everyone and their mother climbing up on this pillar which I believe is supposed to be lucky, to get a photo, outside of the Temple of the Jade Mountain (see below, this is a shot of the temple from across the lake).

Kind of a cool/narcissistic moment: hey, a cafe with my name! Maybe this is going to be an alright place to live after all... 

Like I said, that was pretty much it for day one. Had my first Hanoian beer, ate every single one of the Christmas cookies (snickerdoodles) my mom had packed for me, fell asleep watching youtube movie reviews.

In the following days I did branch out a bit, even walking over to Ba Đình Square, although I still have not made it inside Ho Chi Minh's mausoleum despite moving in around the corner from it. I am bad at being a tourist in the cities I live in. See also: all the things I didn't do/see in Tbilisi, Hungary, Valdivia, New York, Austin, et al. 

I moved pretty quickly once I found a living situation I liked. And I do really, really like my set-up. I'm on the top floor (I like to think of it as the aerie or eagle's nest). I have my own bathroom. I have AC. I have my own laughably tiny/non-scenic balcony and also I'm on the floor with the massive one that overlooks our little pond. It's a good deal.  

The chaos. Packing/unpacking is the worst of the worst.

  

My balcony.

The stunning view from said balcony.

  

En-suite, the height of luxury.

This view always feels Hitchcockian...

Living room, major balcony, also on the top floor.

Just a flower. They can't all be epic shots, geeze.

The pond. The green water. The flags still up because I took this soon after Tết.

And now, a fistful of random bits and bobs from my first few months here: 

Lenin Park (not to be confused with the other Lenin Park) and a real-life SHELTIE that I spotted running with its owner, who of course accompanied it on motorbike. Sadly this is the fastest I could react to the extraordinary sight so my only evidence that it happened at all is the slight poof of the Sheltie pantalones that can be seen in this shot.

    

Night out on the town, we end up in a hostel whose top floor is a dance club that stays open late unless the police come in and shut them down (have experienced that, not fun), we're shaking our groove things on the light-up dance floor when suddenly everyone is given the boot so that these ladies can get up and dance lethargically for our entertainment while everyone stands around awkwardly, watching/not watching. It was...interesting. 

I once again have a gecko/geckos living in my room! They're actually all over the house. They're harmless and they eat the bugs so I'm a fan. I didn't name this one, after having to bury Alfred back in Austin I couldn't risk the emotional attachment.

Spotted: an apocalyptic sunset in Hanoi. 

The horrible pregnant chihuahua who lives in the bánh mì shop across the alley from my house. Somehow both fearful and aggressive, this thing never shuts up and she's. always. watching.

One fine day in the spring my housemates and I went to get some Indian food for lunch. I hitched a ride on the back of Margaux's motorbike and took the opportunity to capture some shots of life from a bike, which is how many (most, I might even say) get around Hanoi every day.

  

Hard at work.

  

Dan, another housemate. I think he's going for stoic here?

Notice the Hanoi ninjas. Lots of woman cover up completely, regardless of how hot it is, to avoid having their skin get any exposure to the sun. After a while you start to admire the sheer determination, will-power, and devotion to vanity that living through such heat must require. I know it's a little bit cooler on a motorbike because you're not exerting yourself and you've got a breeze but when it's 90 degrees and feels like 110... the breeze is not doing that much.

Just one example of the many, many ways people use their motorbikes to do literally everything here. There's no limit to how much shit they will pack onto it, where they will try to drive/park it, how short a distance is too short for them to use it in lieu of walking, etc. The motor bike is life here. I can respect that, but I'm still sticking to my bicycle. People keep telling me it's less safe, but I definitely do not feel safer on a motorbike.

Riding past Hồ Tây.

I spent a lot of my first couple weeks taking xe ôm's and taxis everywhere, until my friend Lenna tipped me off to how cheap and easy the buses are to take. Then I was busing until I finally ponied up to get a bicycle. Anyway, xe ôm is just a motorbike taxi. Apparently its meaning in Vietnamese is "hug the driver", or something along those lines, although I can assure you that I never, ever, not once, hugged any of my xe ôm drivers.

 

Propaganda-lined streets, as you do in Hanoi. 

  

The cafe/restaurant boats in the south side. I'm pretty sure one of them actually can/does set sail for dinner cruises although I'm not sure which.

Trấn Quốc Pagoda, which embarrassingly I have still not actually gone inside despite driving past many, many times. It's really beautiful. It's on my list.

Quán Thánh Temple, also near West Lake, which I also have not gotten around to visiting. So many temples and pagodas, so little time!

It's difficult to find what this little park's actual name is, on Google Maps it's called Vườn hoa Lý Tự Trọng, which apparently translates to Lý Tự Trọng flower garden. Anyway, it's the park at the center of the roundabout just south of West Lake and Truc Bach lake.

Hanoi life, on Ngọc Hà street.

Another view of the temple near my house. 

  

And then one day, back in March, while walking around I noticed that about half the trees I was seeing were painting white like the ones below. There was a huge furor on the Hanoi facebook groups I belong to and as it turns out, those trees were all ones the Vietnamese government had planned to fell in a brilliant money-making schem- I mean, bid to fell old and unhealthy trees *cough cough sure*. There was enough of a response from the general public that the plan was actually halted.

Another random sight, someone carrying what looked like the frame of some building or structure on one of those little 3-wheeled scooters you see the old grizzled men riding around Hanoi occasionally.

And finally, these photos were not taking during the day and no flash was used, rather, these were during a storm. That light is lightning. They're not amazing photos but they're the best I've been able to get of some of the wicked storms I've watched roll in from my balcony.  

Việt Nam: The Food (nom nom nom), The Drinks

I'm sure this is the first of several food posts, but I've been collecting all these photos of food I have seen and/or eaten during my first six months here and although I want to eventually write about my other experiences here, we all know it's all about the food, right? So let's talk about the food. First, things you can find in your local super market/tạp hóa (small bodega-style corner shop):

Clay pots with stew being sold in the freezer aisle. I thought this was kind of a cool alternative to the ultra-disposable kind of packaging you usually see in the frozen food section.

The fish heads, however, I do not find cool or appealing or necessary or appetizing.

Me:

Tea bars? I think, according to Google Translate.

"Bread rolls."

One of these desserts is NOT like the others. Can you spot the import?

American liquor, locked behind a glass door WITH a lock on each individual bottle as well.

Peanut butter?! For 70,200₫ (~ $3). I haven't gone there yet. It may come to this though.

  

Spanish wine! I think I may treat myself to this for my birthday.

Artichoke tea. We have a box of this in the teacher's room at work and I tried it one day when my stomach was bothering me. It helped. It cleared me out, if you get what I'm saying. It has kind of a mild taste, sort of herbal, not bad. Apparently it also has a bunch of folk remedy medical benefits. 

'Trà' in Vietnamese means tea, by the way, and 'atisô' is the word directly translated into Vietnamese. Because words here are pronounced as monosyllabic (with tones to differentiate), a common problem I've noticed for English learners is that any time a word has more than one syllable or a consonant at the end of the word they have a tendency to either drop the last syllable(s)/consonant/consonant cluster, or overcompensate by adding -s to things that are not plurals or possessives. It's an interesting dilemma but its relevance to this tea is that if you say the word 'artichoke' but soften all the consonants so that 'ch' that sounds more like a 's' and the 'r' and 'k' are essentially dropped, you get.... atisô. The same thing happens with 'chocolate', which in Vietnamese is 'sôcôla' (soften the 'ch' to 's', and drop the consonant 't' at the end). Language! It is fascinating.

More snacks: seaweed flavored chips (pretty good, kind a veeeeery mild plant taste but basically just salty crunchy deliciousness), Toppo chocolate-filled wafers, and bánh sữa, which Google Translate identifies as "yellow cow milk cake". More about those two desserts below.

I bought the bánh sữa on a whim. It looked desserty, like maybe it was white chocolate or cheesecake or something. I thought, 'What's the worst that could happen?'

Bánh sữa IS actually the worst thing that could have happened. 

It tastes like someone made goat cheese then forgot about it for 2 months in a bucket in a hot shack in the middle of the desert, then decided to go ahead and package and sell it anyway. It tastes like old milk that has been sitting in a well-used boot.  It tastes like someone milked a syphilitic cat and tried to use that milk to make blue cheese. It tastes like the death of all your dreams, and the loss of innocence.

Once I bought it and realized the absence of joy I felt in its aftermath, the hole where once my will to live had been, I made everyone who visited the house try it without warning them as to what its flavor was because so great was my trauma from attempting to eat this that the only way to ease my pain was spread the misery around.

The memory of its flavor still haunts me.

These, on the other hand, are essentially just pretzels filled with chocolate. Fuckin' delicious.

These are literally butter crackers and a cup of lightly flavored sugar-butter. They smell like a little girl's lip gloss and they taste like the last swallow of the sugariest chocolate-orange milkshake of which you could possibly conceive.

I saw these wafers and thought, oh! A taro-based dessert product! I have no experience with taro in any incarnation, this could be interesting.

What it actually is, is a lie. The wafer is fine but the filling is next to non-existent. That's not to say I didn't persist in eating them, I did. Like I said, the wafer is fine. And after I had eaten about a dozen of them I realized that there was the faintest of taro flavoring, a thin strip of so-called filling drizzled stingily down one side of the wafer. Mostly, though, they just tasted like carbohydrates, preservatives, and failure.

So I still have no idea where I fall in the great Taro: Is It a food Emily Likes? debate of 2015.

These are pretty much what you see is what you get.

Cookies, cream filling, not exactly satisfying, but definitely beyond sweet.

I hate these with the fire of a thousand burning suns. In my Vietnam food experiences so far, my hatred for Marine Boy is second only to bánh sữa and is rivaled only by the animosity I feel towards bún đậu.

This is bún đậu. I'm using a picture from Google Images because the one time I tried it I disliked it so much I did not even think to document the experience. It is like the epicenter of things I do not enjoy: little bundles of squished together cold vermicelli noodles, fried tofu, unidentifiable processed pork sausage slices, INTENSELY concentrated shrimp sauce. The best part of the meal was the slices of cucumbers. Never again.

Anyway, I digress. We were talking about Marine Boy. They come in different flavors, tomato and shrimp being the ones I see most often. I thought, tomato flavor? That sounds promising.

No.

Biting into these was like experiencing an IED composed of salt and tomato paste detonating inside my mouth. It was painful, and the overwhelming tomato of it all lingered for hours. I had such high hopes; from the packaging I had dreams of these being akin to Goldfish. Alas, such was not my fate in life.

Finally, the important stuff. Coffee, soda, and candy. Vietnam is not in short supply of any of these. I actually found a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup in a shop (two in fact, it's a little Hanoi franchise of tiny grocery shops!), L's Place. It's not an everyday thing obviously, as I have been making somewhat of an effort to live a healthier lifestyle in my time here in Vietnam. But it's still very good information to have. For the rough days.

As far as I know, from my extensive searching, Coke Light cannot be bought in large quantities here. It's can or bust. Thankfully a can only costs 8-10,000₫ (~$0.35-$0.45). Also, my local tạp hóa sells small 2-KitKat and even single Kit-Kat bars. On hot days they often put them in the refrigerator with all the drinks, which is awesome.

Finally, canned coffee. The coffee here is amazing and magical and I never want to drink another cup of Starbucks garbage nonsense ever again, but sometimes (cough cough 7:45 AM class on Saturdays and Sundays) the shops don't open early enough, or I need a coffee on the go which not everyone does, or I just need to drink my coffee out of a can while I'm laying in bed wondering why anyone would force their child to go to English class at the butt-crack of dawn on the weekend. All pretty valid reasons, I feel. Anyway I have tried some of the Japanese canned coffee that's sold at L's Place, and it's pretty good plus unsweetened, but Birdy is still my standard. One because it's also sold at my local tạp hóa which is much closer than either L's Places. And two because it's delicious. They sell two flavors: milk, and black. Both have sugar. I go for the black when I got shit to do. I go for the milk when I'm feeling decadent.

Another coffee favorite of mine is Urban Station, a sort of American-style coffee shop down the street from my teaching center. For some reason the coffee is actually cheaper to take away (14000₫/$0.44) than it is to stay and drink in the shop (28000₫ /$1.24). Which works for me since it sells a pretty good cup of Vietnamese coffee, and it's easy to drop in and grab on the way to work. When it was cooler and rainier back in March I was also getting cappuccinos from this place (~32000₫/$1.42), which were really nice.

Speaking of cooler and rainier, something that I've been missing a lot lately because it has just been WAY too hot for it since about the end of April has been phở. It's a shame. I love that stuff, and it is magical if you've got a head cold/hangover. But the last thing I want is a hot bowl of soup when the thermometer hits 100° by 11 AM.

The photos above are from my favorite phở place, which is around the corner from where I live, in Ba Đình. The actual restaurant looks like it doubles as a car mechanic's garage and it's best just not to think about food hygiene too much when you're eating street food in Vietnam. Take the Ivan Drago approach, re: your stomach:

It's worth it; that shit is delicious. Plus it's usually between 35-45000₫ a bowl, or $1.55-$2. WORTH IT. If you look at the picture you can see my old roommate Margaux is dipping what I have affectionately nicknamed the "salty doughnut" into her soup. I know it has a real name, quẩy, but come on. That thing is a salty doughnut stick used as an excuse to make your phở a little less healthy-ish and a little more deep-fried. Let's call a spade a spade.

Because it's been so hot lately one dish I have turned to in lieu of my beloved phở is phở xào. Seen above is another local favorite of mine, about a 10-minute bike ride from my house, which does take-away phở xào for 40,000₫ ($1.77). It is basically just wok-fried phở noodles with wok-fried morning glory, onion, tomatoes, and garlic on top, plus some soy/chili sauce blended into the whole thing. It is glorious, it is delicious, it is obviously not very good for you so I try not to to eat it on the regular.

Bún chả lady impatiently awaiting our order. Most street food places do only a handful of a things, and a lot of times they only make one thing (often really, really well). So mostly when you sit down at a bún chả place what you need to impart is how many you're ordering, and if you want a side of fried spring roll or an iced tea.

One thing I do eat on the regular is bún chả. I took kind of a break from it in July and most of August (too hot, to busy to sit down and eat street food, mostly just ordering pizzas/salads/sandwiches/curry and getting it delivered, also I kind of burned myself out on it because I ate it so much when I first arrived). But lately I've been getting back into it and remembering just how good bún chả is. It's so prevalent here that I don't really have one favorite bún chả place, more like I have favorites. Favorite place to go near my house, favorite place closer to the Temple of Literature, favorite place near work, favorite place in Old Quarter, etc. Bún chả is my jam, even if I do have to take a break from it every once in a while. 

One of my favorite things about the dish (besides the price: 25-40000₫, depending if you get it with nem [fried spring rolls] and trà) is that you basically control how you eat it. It comes with a plate of bún noodles, a basket of greens- lettuce/mint/herbs, and a bowl of pork meatballs/bacon with a fish sauce. The composition of the sauce is probably the most complex and delicate part, but the total really is more than the sum of its parts. It's just a delicious combination, especially when you add in some fried nem to the mix.

There are a bunch of really good Indian restaurants around Hanoi. They seem to be mostly run by actual Indian families. They are very cheap. This is the lunch special at a place called Foodshop 45, and this whole thing cost about $8 or so. It was delicious. Another great place is Namaste. I order a lot more Indian living in Vietnam than I EVER did back home. In fact Vietnam may have made me more obsessed with Indian food than it has with Vietnamese food. Possibly.

There is obviously a wide variety of new fruits to try here. So far I've tried dragonfruit [tasty but mild], guava [or at least the variety most popular here, do not care for it], starfruit [don't trust it, it's clearly a vegetable in fruit's clothing], rambutan [awesome, like a lychee on steroids], longan [less awesome, like a malnourished lychee], and the delightful aforementioned lychee itself. These photos are from the office, where during lychee season they were left out on the tables for everyone to eat as they were very cheap. Also cheap here: bananas. Pineapples were, although I think they're out of season now so the glorious time of Pineapples for Everyone All the Time! has come to an end.

Finally one more new fruit for me that I just tried for the first time this morning, mãng cầu ta or sugar-apple/sweetsop/custard apple. It kind of tastes like a banana screwed a lime and their illegitimate lovechild married an apple to obtain its title, who gave birth to this magnificent heir to the fruit throne. Allegedly jackfruit/durian is known as the king of tropical Asian fruits, but give me a sugar apple over that stinky diaper-smelling monstrosity any day.

Speaking of! Foods I intend to blog about next time round: 

• durian/jackfruit
• mango (oh my god are the mangoes here amazing)
• mangosteen
• papaya
• coconut
• sapodilla
• bún bò nam bộ (delicious)
• bún riêu (still haven't tried it)
• bún thịt nướng (basically Southern-Viet style bún chả, but all mixed together in one bowl)
• bánh cuốn (meh, kind of bland)
• bánh giầy (pretty tasty)
• bánh mì (I've had everything from euphorically good to unsettingly bad)
• bánh xèo (liking shrimp is a prerequisite so really I was destined not to like this)
• I'm sure I'm forgetting something, let me know if I am!

Onto drinks, then. Occasionally I do go out, do the whole paying for overpriced drinks thing (FIVE WHOLE DOLLARS FOR A COCKTAIL?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?) but the night almost always begins at the local bia hơi because...

5000₫ glass of beer. That's $0.22 for those of you keeping track of the đồng to dollar exchange. These are some photos from my friend Lenna's and my favorite bia hơi place, around the corner from the more famous International Bia Hơi corner. It's not that they sell a different product. It's just those places fill up fast with backpackers, charge three times as much as everywhere that is not that corner, and don't have the lovely owners (seen below) who always find room for us regardless of how crowded it is and always stay open until the last possible minute. Sorry the photo of our bia chi is not very good. I'll ask her for a proper photo, one day.

I say she stays open until the last possible minute because usually sometime around 11 the police start making their rounds and shut everything down. It is possible to stay out past 11, either by leaving Old Quarter and heading to less touristy/quieter areas like French Quarter/West Lake, or by finding some hush-hush places that will lock you in. Staying out in Hanoi, in Old Quarter, past 11, is a little bit like living in prohibition-era New York. Fun can be had, if you're patient, you know where to look, and you don't mind flagrant fire hazards.

The view from our corner, actually about a million times calmer than the real bia corner.

In actuality, though, there are bia hơi's everywhere. This is one in an alley that passes behind my house. It's fairly big. The one downside of the bia hơi, though, is that when the kegs are kicked, the night is close to done. A lot of places will have bottles, but they cost the normal amount, never seem to last that much longer than the fresh stuff, and take some of the fun out of the experience. Which is not to say that I have not, on many occasion, switched over to bottles when the keg is done. I'm not too good for that. But it does mean that if you have a real life where you do not finish all of your responsibilities before 8 PM, sometimes by the time you get down to drinking all that's left is the bottles.

Such is life.

It also means that sometimes by the time you get to your local bia hơi, they might willingly sell you beer but then get impatient if you don't drink it fast enough because they want to shut down and go home. And they may flood their own establishment in an effort to kill two birds with one stone: clean the place, evict the foreigners.

What choice do you have then, but to stubbornly stay as long as physically possible in your seats, until you have to put your feet up to avoid getting your ankles wet? Meet obstinancy with obstinance, that's what I've learned in Vietnam. Stay calm, keep smiling, and don't give an inch! Unless you're wearing sandals.

Then you'd best get the hell out of there. You do not want whatever fungus Vietnam is brewing all up in your toenails.

In honor of my grandmother I had been searching Hanoi for a decent Manhattan back in April. I ended up settling for very nice gin and tonic from Ete. But the hunt continued and I finally found an awesome one at +84, a really nice bar that has a greenhouse out front and then more traditional bar-area in the back and which also has really good live music. No joke, the second time I went to +84 and ordered the Manhattan, as it arrived the band started playing Lynyrd Skynyrd's "Freebird", which just so happened to be one of my late grandmother's favorite songs. It was a beautiful and mysterious coincidence.

Lastly, delightful Belgian beer ordered at a bar/restaurant close to the Reunification Park on Margaux's last full day in Hanoi. I don't get the imported stuff very often because it is obviously more expensive than the bia hơi but also than the local bottled stuff [Beer Saigon/Truc Bac/Daiviet being some of the best, 333/Hanoi/Halida being (in my opinion) some of the worst/blandest].

I think that's enough for one day, talking about food. I actually had a phở xào before I started writing this entry but at this point that feels like hours ago. Time to head to Vietnammm...