pa pa l'americano

Confession: I was not overly excited about coming to Italy, or Milan. I'm sure that makes me a bad world traveler. I guess the thing for me is that Italy is well-tread territory: by my friends, by movies I've watched, by general American pop culture. So while I felt some vague relief at the sight of the foggy, verdant hills and low, rainy skies surrounding Milan as my plane from Istanbul (layover) descended onto the city, I didn't feel any particular emotion about actually being in Italy. More of a, well, here I am, and here I wait until Joanna (my friend and travel buddy for the next leg of the trip) arrives. There was one thing I was very excited about: heading on to Switzerland the next day. I'd booked one night in a very highly recommended hostel in Milan, Ostello Bello, and then had a mid-afternoon bus to catch the next day up to Lucerne, where I would go see a statue that I have loved since the first time I read about it. But more on that later.

Milan. My first impressions were surprise at how the airport was a little bit run-down, a little bit shabby. Although I did fly into Malpensa, which is where a lot of the cheap-o planes arrive and depart, mine included (shout-out to Pegasus!). The system of shuttles into the city of Milan is pretty easy to navigate, and it drops you off at one of the big train hubs in the city. From there I made my way to the hostel, and although I can't exactly recall if it was easy or difficult, I don't remember any serious hardships. I wrote down directions the hostel gave, they turned out to be fine. Except the damn rain. It was pouring. Which is why a lot of my pictures look like this:

Grey skies! Have I mentioned my hostel? So the thing about carrying a big ass backpack with enough stuff to allow you to travel with ease for weeks on end is that it is HEAVY. You know that scene at the beginning of Wild where Cheryl has to basically lie down on her backpack, roll around, and arduously crawl to her feet the first time she puts on her pack? I had a similar, albeit less extreme experience, the first time I put on Big Boy Blue. I had to back up to the chair where B3 was resting, deceptively docile and cooperative, wrangle my arms into its straps, and pray for luck that I could stand up with the damn thing on. I ended up repacking twice after that first round, because I do have some faint notion of my own limits. So by the time I got to Italy I had already discarded some stuff (gifts for my friends in Georgia, my clothes for the wedding, a couple other items I sensed I wouldn't need) from my already lightened pack. And yet. I was in no rush to explore Milan while carrying that thing around.

I have to be honest, even though it's embarrassing, there's another reason I was so down on Milan before I even got started. When I got to the metro station, I was so tired and disoriented I was swindled by a person I'm going to refer to as a gypsy, based on the way she was dressed. Basically I walked up to the machine to buy a metro ticket and she started pressing buttons to "help" me (and actually bought me a much more expensive ticket than I needed), but the screen was in Italian so I was letting her help me. When the ticket came out, she handed it to me and then swiped the change before I could. She got about 10 Euro off me. I have to hand it to her, it's an effective scam to run on jet-lagged tourists who don't speak Italian. I was pissed at her, but also at myself for not even seeing that coming.

Anyway, after that I had about two hours of "fuck Milan!" while I was taking the metro and finding my way to the hostel. Between the bag, the metro scam lady, and the rain, I was not feeling it.

Then I got to my hostel, and they saved everything for me. Warm, cozy, friendly. You get a free drink when you check in, there's a free dinner (that, unlike the free dinner I will talk about getting later on in Albania, was actually extremely nice: a couple different kinds of salad, pesto and pasta, garlic bread, a few delicious sides, discount drinks during the dinner hour), the rooms are about 5/6 beds to a room so you're not in a massive 30 person bedroom, each with their own bathroom, they'll do all of your laundry overnight for 10 Euro, the staff were totally friendly, and there was a free breakfast with amazing coffee that was more than my free breakfast at most hostels (multiple cereals, yogurts, with with spreads, eggs, some kind of breakfast meat, etc). Seriously, this place was nice. Yes, it was 35 Euro a night, but it was worth it. They basically helped redeem Milan for me that afternoon. After relaxing and de-stressing from that morning I went back out and explored, came back to a nice dinner, got some gelato (which I don't get, as a phenomenon), woke up early the next morning to check out a few more things around the city, then got to the bus station.

Saint George, hey! I was just in a country where he's a BFD!

Some shots from the area near my hostel, wandering around looking for the post office.

The Duomo di Milano, a structure so beautiful and intricate you could probably spend several days exploring all of the renderings on both its outer and inner walls, and still not be finished. I've included a handful from what must be dozens of photos that I took because honestly, after a certain point, it's hard to even look at it for its detail anymore.  There's just too much.

A VERY fancy shopping center to the left of the cathedral's square. I felt like a plebeian interloper even walking past some of the shops in this area.

Statue of Leonardo daVinci located nearby.

A series of bas-reliefs located outside a theater, also nearby.

Hilarious. Maurizio Cattelan's 'The Finger', located in Piazza Affari (Business Square), outside of Milan's stock exchange building. I can't say that any piece in recent history has so accurately and appropriately captured my feelings.

On the way to the castle I passed this structure, which you can see part of in the picture above and more of in the two below. It was for Expo 2015 which, at least for this year, seems to be focused on the relationships between technology, energy, plant life, and human health. Seemed interesting, I was disappointed it wasn't open yet.

Approaching and entering the Sforza Castle.

Obviously the best of a crop of pictures taken while attempting to get both the round corner garrison and the main front structure. No joke, I was basically lying on the ground while doing this and yes, people were staring at me.

So bad it's good. Look at all the pavement I managed to capture in this shot! Such a pro.

A slightly better although less artsy shot.

This was my favorite corner of the massive courtyard when you first enter the palace. They're a bunch of broken pieces of old columns, crests, and stone coffins. Some are more intact than others. 

Vines, on the outer wall of the castle. Surrounded by a moat that presumably was filled in at one time but now seems to be mainly used for housing stray (adorable) cats.

The castle, from the other side of the park. And in the other direction...

The lovely park behind the castle and Milan's own "Arc de Triomphe" (Arco della Pace) because apparently this style of arch is like the butt of nationalistic architecture: every country's got one.

So after this wonderful late afternoon/next morning exploration and postcard sending I went back to the hostel to pick up my bag and head for the bus station, to catch my late afternoon bus. With the help of the people working there I got to the closest metro station with relatively little trouble and then TOTALLY botched getting to the bus station because when I exited the metro, I turned left instead of right. That's it. Seriously. I turned left and headed out onto the street and walked about a half a mile in what I thought was the right direction until I was basically about to enter a major highway. So I turned around, tried a couple of side streets, and about 45 panicky minutes later returned to the metro station only to realize that the bus station WAS ON THE OTHER FUCKING SIDE, DIRECTLY BEHIND THE METRO STATION. Vai me, this is why sometimes I think I shouldn't be allowed to travel alone. Regardless, though I got there with only about 15 minutes to spare (at least at this point in my travels I have the foresight to realize I'm probably going to mess things up in some fashion and I give myself veeeery generous windows of time to do exactly that) my bus had not arrived. 

There was another 15 minutes of panic when I realized that none of the electronic signs worked, the ticket station was packed with a sea of people looking to buy tickets/get information so I wouldn't be able to talk to anyone at a counter anytime soon, and none of the depots were labeled and therefore I had no idea how I was going to identify my bus when it finally arrived. Thankfully an Italian woman saw me wandering around looking like a teary, anxiety-ridden pack mule and pulled  me over to where I was supposed to be and where, thankfully, there was a very nice college student who spoke perfect English and who explained to me that I was in fact in the right place and that this is just how things generally work in Italy. Bless you Rafaella, wherever you are! The bus left about a half an hour later, making its way north through the Alps into Switzerland. I got a couple of shots from the ride although they hardly do justice to just how beautiful it was, especially around Lake Como. Anyway I arrived at Lucerne safely around 9 or 10 PM and made my way to my hostel without too much trouble. I had a full day and a second night in the hostel in Lucerne so I basically showed up and fell asleep. The hostel in Lucerne was ridiculous, especially compared to the place I'd just stayed in Milan, but more on that in the next post.