Wednesday, May 18, 2016

Thailand II: For a Few Baht More


My heart is warm with friends I make, 
And better friends I'll not be knowing; 
Yet there isn't a train I wouldn't take, 
No matter where it's going. 
-Edna St. Vincent Millay

So I had two little vacations in January and then a couple weeks of working copiously, spending my days off eating pizza and watching people do silly things on youtube, and then suddenly the big Vietnamese holiday, the one time of the year that everyone just takes off and relaxes for a solid week or more, Tết, was upon us. Fun fact I just learned: Tết is short for Tết Nguyên Đán, which is Sino-Vietnamese for "Feast of the First Morning of the First Day". Man, I love Wikipedia. Tết is the Vietnamese Lunar New Year, analogous to Chinese New Year, which worked out nicely for my vacation plans as my friend Andrea, who I think I've mentioned on here as being another teacher from Georgia and also the friend I visited in Spain, is working in China and had similar holiday leave. Well, technically she had way more of it but she went first to southern Thailand and soaked up some sun before meeting up with me in Bangkok, and after our adventures in northern Thailand she returned to Hanoi with me before traveling down through Vietnam for a couple more weeks. In any case, a better traveling companion could not be asked for! Andrea and I travel pretty well together, we're both pretty laid-back and we agreed very easily on a combination of planning (our day trip to Chiang Rai, taking the night train up through the country, booking accommodation and airfare) and wingin' it (most of the rest of the trip).

This trip was dearly appreciated as the weeks leading up to Tết saw Hanoi filling up every day with more cars, more people, more air pollution, and more general assholery. I know there are a lot of expat blogs out there that will detail the hellacious experience that is driving on Vietnamese city roads and in truth, I was hurt several times during the year I spent riding my bike around. But after a couple months I would say that the traffic patterns in the city started to make a weird, other kind of sense to me. They don't operate the way they do in the US but if you can teach yourself to be prepared to stop unexpectedly at any moment while also staying relaxed enough to know when not to stop and instead FORGE AHEAD WITHOUT REGRET OR TIMOROUSNESS, you'll generally be okay. It's a very delicate balance and not even native Hanoians get it right every time. Anyway, this is what the roads looked like a few days before my leaving:




A big thing in Vietnam is bringing peach, kumquat, and orange trees to your family. How is this done? Sometimes by truck, more often by strapping that sucker on the back of your motorbike and getting on with it. I tried to get a photo of some of the more ridiculously large trees I saw precariously transported via bike but never got a good shot, the ones above are all of fairly reasonable, comparatively. 


This is an INSANE amount of traffic, especially cars, for the mid-afternoon. Normally there is a bump in people around 3 or so but this is absurd. Look at all the bikes piled up there by the intersection! Intense. Definitely a good time to get out and away.

I flew Nok Air, which I had read less than complimentary things about mostly attritbuted to their small collection of plans and therefore the catastrophic effect that one or two late/delayed/canceled flight has on their entire system but thankfully I lucked out with that and found them to actually be a pretty nice budget airline. Spacious seats, snacks and free drinks, decent service.


"No foul smelling on board". They put hamburgers and drinks on there but we all know that rule is aimed at you, durian, you evil smelly bastard.

Arrived in Bangkok late on Friday night, took and bus and then a train (actual trains! so modern, that Bangkok), checked my email and crashed in the hostel. The next day I was up and at 'em, determined to walk to the area of the city with the temples I was interesting in seeing. Happily that afforded me the chance to pass this car dealership that had a GIANT Predator replica out front. Really happy about that sighting.

First order of the day: Wat Saket, or the Golden Mount.


344 Steps. That's right.


Whenever I pass a sight like this, I think of this song. We got bells!

The view on the way up:


And from the top:


Inside the Golden Mount:





More bells. So many bells, everywhere.


On the way don the stairs from the mount you can take a closer look at the construction of the temple's roof pieces. Beautiful and really interesting.

Depth of field, crucial for photographing Thailand.

Helpful map of the grounds.

Carrying on, I passed the Buddha factory street, lined with shops like this one, selling either iconography, bells, or other temple adornments.

The Giant Swing, and Wat Suthat. Actually used as a swing at one time!



Making my way around to the Grand Palace... Although I walked around the grounds that are open to the public for a little bit I did not go inside as the tickets were quite expensive and I had a lot more of Bangkok I wanted to see (but only one afternoon to see it!). If I were to go back I might splurge on going inside but as it was, from the outside, the construction looked kind of similar to the temples?





The best part of this sign is at the bottom:

DO NOT TRUST WILY STRANGERS

Words to live by, friends.

Additionally, the palace was mobbed. Another reason to eschew in favor of free, less money-charging, and less crowded temples.



I loved these tuk-tuk taxis everywhere. Adorable.

Approaching and exploring Wat Pho, or Temple of the Reclining Buddha.


Helpful


People purchase little flaky pieces of gold (paper, maybe?) to stick onto the idol of their choice.




This sign was everywhere. Sometimes placed right next to a shop that was obviously, flagrantly flouting these ideas by selling stuff with the Buddha's image on it.

Buddha's posture for the seven days of the week:
Sunday, the day of restraint. Hey, I was born on a Sunday! According to this random, 1998-style website I found a person born on Sunday is respectable, wise, carefree, and beloved by everyone. How is a person respectable and carefree at the same time? That's a neat trick.

Monday, the day of making peace.

Tuesday, the sleeping day (HA).

Wednesday (morning), for receiving.

Wednesday (evening), for the blessed one/worshipping.

Thursday, the day of meditation and Friday, the day of contemplation.

Saturday, the day of protection, you can see the Buddha is being defended by naga (snakes).

Bonus Buddha for funsies! (Real talk, I don't know what the extra one is for.)

Entering Viharn Phranorn, along with approximately 3.2 million other tourists (and we all had to take our shoes off, FYI, Thailand is not a country to wear shoes that require tying/untying laces if you're going to visit temples).

Lunar New Year followed me to Thailand! I don't believe the Thai observe this holiday but I guess there is a large enough presence of other cultures that do that they put up a nice banner and some lanterns in respect. The sign says, Happy Chinese New Year 2016! And some stuff in Thai that I can't read, sorry.

These signs were...everywhere. It was kind of worrying. I was very vigilant.


Big ass Buddha, just chillin'.

People were dropping coins in these all along the temples. I believe it is for luck.


Murals all along in the inside.













These was this very interesting, exhibit-style display of graphics displaying the way traditional Thai art has portrayed other Asians and other ethnicities. I thought it was fascinating.


Vietnamese: Wears similar clothing to Chinese Opera, A leader always sits on a litter and carries a folding fan, Woodwork skills, Eats crocodile meat, Lives along the coast, Experience in navigation. Hmm. Interesting set of stereotypes.










This bunch of Westerners come off pretty well although I enjoy the French motif of wearing watches. Those French, so time-obsessed! Also, the Egyptians are apparently known for believing "that the Earth travels around the Sun", so well done there Egyptians.






Anyway, feel free to read as much or little of that as you want. I thought it was truly an interesting insight.




Just wandering around the complex for a while, before moving on to the harbor...

Helpful maps everywhere!

Marketplace alongside the docks where you can pick up little city-run and private ferries across the river. National pride in full effect in here!

Foodstuffs.






I did not make this journey due to time constraints and the beginnings of some temple-fatigue. I was enjoying wandering, in any case.


Bangkok Flower Market. Unfortunately I showed up after a lot of the stalls inside were starting to break down and had finished selling for the day but there was still a LONG street full of vendors outside, selling all manner of beautiful flowers/flower arrangements.


Altar set up in the middle of the marketplace.




Giant bowls of tiny flowers.







There were many, many more stalls and they were all amazing. But! I had a date to keep with Andrea back at the hostel. Unfortunately I made the poor choice to walk and besides being totally overheated and gross by the time I got back there, was very, very late. But I did see some interesting sights along the way and thankfully Andrea is very patient.






Markets and temples, markets and temples.




And then suddenly I was on fucking gun street which apparently is where they sell not just guns but HYBRID GUNS, whatever the hell that even means, and I was deeply uncomfortable. I did not linger in this area.

A row of tuk-tuk taxis, their drivers resting/eating/waiting for passengers.

I'll take all of them, thanks.

Finally I got back to the hostel and Andrea and I headed over to the Chatuchak Weekend Market, which she had heard good things about. To do this we got on the metro and somehow, surreally, ran into my housemate (from Hanoi) Dan, who was passing through Bangkok in escape from Tet and was also heading to Chiang Mai! Truly a strange coincidence. He and his friend Lisa were flying out that night and although we discussed meeting up again in Chiang Mai we were never quite able to make it happen. Still, it was part of a series of strange Tet events that led me to believe that Asia is somehow, magically, smaller than its very largeness would lead you to believe. More on that later. But first, Chatuchak Park! Remarkably clean and full of people soaking up the late-afternoon, early-February warmth.

Love a good swan boat. Just kidding. Screw you, swan boats.



This. Market. Was. Madness.

Also, as this was my first late afternoon out and about in Thailand in a city, this was the first time I experienced the national anthem. Did you know that they play it, city-wide, twice a day in Bangkok? And when they do, if you are in a public place, the police DO expect everyone to stop what they are doing, stand completely still, and silently listen/reflect until it's finished. They will ensure that you do. Unfortunately I did not capture the otherwordly strangeness of this but Andrea and I were deep in the heart of the vast Chatuchak Market when it started and everything came to a screeching halt while the anthem played. It was stranger than the time in the theater when we all had to stand before the film played and listen to the anthem, because at least there we weren't in the middle of living our lives and asked to simply stop for several minutes and stand like statues. Of course, I've experienced bouts of patriotic ritual like this at home (cough cough homeroom pledge of allegiance is super weird if you think about it for too long cough) but I think it's the act of stopping what you're doing that truly threw me off my guard.


Mmmm, coconuts...

Urban sunsets.

I like the practicality of having a "meeting point" sign. Useful.

After we'd wandered through the market for a while and completely and utterly bombarded our sense we'd discussed going to see a movie. So we headed to a huge shopping mall that was playing the film we wanted to see (I think it was Pride and Prejudice and Zombies? Which I never did end up seeing...). Sadly we arrived about a half an hour after it had already begun and my purist movie-goer's heart just could not allow me to enter the theater at that point. So we had a nice dinner and caught up instead, and afterwards Andrea got some dessert from this place that made actual factual ice cream flowers. They were so pretty.


Some more odd things we stumbled upon on our way back to the hostel to pick up my backpack...

I don't even know. From the hostel we were running short on time so we grabbed a taxi and headed to the train station, where we were picking up the night train to Chiang Mai. We made it with just a bit of time to spare! The train ride was about 14 hours or so, leaving at 10 PM and getting in at noon the next day. Looking out at the platform...


Varying levels of excitement for the night of train-sleeping ahead of us.


This old-timer was a pro at setting up the beds, and the two chairs we can be seen sitting on in the pictures above soon became Andrea's bunk while mine was lowered from the wall. Curtains were unfurled and bedding distributed. It was a very efficient process and this guy was wonderfully no-nonsense.

SLEEP.

The next morning, because I did not have any windows on the top bunk, my first view was once I had (as gently as possible) waken Andrea and suggested that I not be trapped in my isolation bunk anymore. She mercifully agreed and the old-timer came around to set up the chairs for us again. My first view of northern Thailand when we opened the blinds looked alarmingly like the American northwest.
Afterwards the terrain became less familiar-looking, although still very different from Thailand's tropical southern wilderness.

Breakfast on a train. We picked these off the menu the morning before. One of us went for the wholesome choice of eggs and toast, and one of us... chose cookies. I will let the mystery of who chose what remain.

Watching the front of the train go 'round the mountain.


Cowboy, much?




Keep calm and chew cud.

Once we arrived in Chiang Mai, we could see the guys working there scrub down the cars and get ready to send it back whence it came.

Huzzah!

Our first Chiang Mai lunch, after being picked up by the guys who run the non-profit CYDA (whose guesthouse we stayed in). It was really cool to know that our money was going to a good cause, funding an education for local kids, and also it was kind of nice to be outside of Chiang Mai proper. They had bikes for us to use and the ride into town was blissfully flat and took maybe half an hour? All in all it was a really cool place to stay.


This "restaurant" was just chain-link fence walls with a tin roof, and there was no menu so you just kind of had to negotiate with the couple who runs it. Still, we got some noodles and some rice and although Andrea asked for no meat and definitely got meat anyway, it was still pretty tasty.



I spent a lot of energy trying to keep this cat out of our room. I'm sorry, friendly feline foe. But your fur makes my face explode.

The view from our porch.

This porch was ours for the duration. It was a lovely morning coffee hangout spot. Also, the fridge was stocked with snacks! I mean, they charged for them but still. Awesome.

Inside our room...

Bamboo mat floors! Very springy but pretty nice once you get used to them. This room made for a very cold couple of mornings but they gave us a literal, metric ton of blankets and for the most part we were really comfortable.




My Chiang Mai love. She was so sweet.

Our noble steeds! After our not-great-but-good-enough lunch we were ready to get on up and into the city proper. The ride was lovely even if we were a little doubtful at times that we were going the right way. We figured it out eventually.

Everyone has a Chinatown. EVERYONE.

Wat Buppharam, one of the first temples we encountered on our way towards the Night Bazaar. Markets and temples.



The roof was truly bananas. In a good way.




Inside.






Outside!


Not anything significant, I just liked all the greenery of this storefront.

Andrea and I arrived in Chiang Mai just in time for the tail-end of the Flower Festival. Sadly, we missed the parade but we did get to see some of the floats and the concert that was held on the last day.


That is a lot of years.


DIY AF.

I mean, come on. This guy was such a boss.









Tha Phae Gate, one of four leading into the old city.

Sunday walking market, which takes over the entire main road within the old city! Very cool. I actually took another photo from this exact same angle because I had intended to capture the band but I can't get over how creepy these two girls, dressed identical and captured at the exact same point in stepping, are. So this is the keeper. You're welcome.

On our way through the neverending streets of market stalls we came upon the Lanna Architecture Center. Lanna is one of the old, northern Thai kingdoms. They have their own writing system and style of architecture. The inside is kind of interesting, has some nice preservation of the original building and dioramas of Lanna temples/buildings from around Chiang Mai, and out on the lawn is a very nice open-air cafe. There was a live performance happening and it was a prefect opportunity to sample some Thai coffee and relax in the late afternoon sun.




Hippies!





Later we headed across the street to Wat Chedi Luang.



Buddha on the water. This whole garden area was lovely.

These were not real, though.

The ones in the bottom half of the photo were, though.

Wat Chedi Luang, a very old Lanna temple.

Another angle.

Wandering past a temporary stage where young performers celebrated both new...

...and old art forms.



This girl was resting after her performance. Some people were taking pictures with her which she seemed really excited about. She was very cute.

Finally, pizza. And beer. Well-earned, and provided us with the sustenance we needed for the slightly cooler bike ride back to CYDA.


This pizza place had a chalk wall covered in messages so I decided, apropos of Andrea and my friendship kicking off in Georgia, to leave a memento in their language.

The next day was the day we had most carefully planned. Andrea had contacted a tourism agency who had given her a pretty good rate on a private car and tour guide who was going to take us to the White Temple, the Black House, and Doi Suthep all in one day. They also provided lunch for us in Chiang Rai. It was pretty awesome. The day started early though, and went late. It was a lot of stuff but totally worth it. To begin with...




Hot springs and coffee. Not even my first of the day but I would need many more before we were through.

Chinese tourists taking feet selfies. Everywhere we went on this day we found ourselves surrounded by Chinese tourists, perhaps because they had the exact same holiday days off as we did. I know they have kind of a bad reputation and I could have done with about 1000% less selfie stickage but mostly I found their behavior to be fine? Like, no serious complaints.

First up in Chiang Rai: Wat Rung Khun or the White Temple. I was really excited for this site because I'd heard about it from a former roommate, Laura, and had read about it online. And speaking of otherworldly, this whole temple complex feels like something out of a fantasy film or video game or something, I don't know. It's really, really cool. But not at all ancient! The artist who envisioned the whole thing, Chalermchai Kositpipat (I'm not even going to pretend I didn't copy/paste that from Wikipedia), is from Chiang Rai and wanted to build something to attract tourists to his city. Although there was apparently an original Wat Rung Khun, Kositpipat completely overhauled it because it was pretty run down. It opened in the form it now has in 1997.

Thai Iron Man? Yes please.

WHY ARE THESE NOT THE TRAFFIC CONES EVERYONE USES. They are like a Seussian/Hellboy crossover-induced fever dream and I need them to be added to the municipal budgets of all towns, everywhere. If I saw a cone like this I would respect the HELL out of it and not go to the area it was protecting. You just don't ignore a crimson four-faced skeleton topped with a bone-white dragon fruit. You just don't.

There were just so many cool things to look at on, in, and around this temple so a lot of these photos are just going to be things that I wanted to remember, forever and ever.


There she stands, in all her glory.

The pond in front is filled with the most gorgeous fish. I don't even like fish (as animals, as food they are...sufficient) and I thought these fish were enchanting.

Waiting to enter. Taking it all in.

As you approach the entrance there is the artist's interpretation of hell, which is this pit caught mid-roil, full of mud-colored hands, claws, and other unpleasant things. It's pretty evocative and I'm gonna go ahead and say effective, especially in contrast to the gleaming white temple ahead of you while walking on the little plank of the pit full of this stuff.



Some fearsome guardians, I think according to Wikipedia they are Death and Rahu.


It's concrete, inlaid with pieces of mirror.

The half-human/half-bird Kinnaree, standing next to the lake.

Entering the ubosot, or main temple. Thanks once again Wikipedia for providing all this vocabulary!


You are not actually allowed to take photos inside the temple and it is pretty strictly enforced but the inside walls are painted bright yellow and orange and covered with interesting cultural and religious references. From Wikipedia,
"Inside the temple, the decor swiftly moves from pristine white to fiery and bewildering. Murals depict swirling orange flames and demon faces, interspersed with Western idols such as Michael Jackson, Neo from The Matrix, Freddy Kruger, and a T-800 series Terminator. Images of nuclear warfare, terrorist attacks, and oil pumps hammer home the destructive impact that humans have had on earth. The presence of Harry Potter, Superman, and Hello Kitty confuses the message somewhat, but the overall moral is clear: people are wicked."

(They're quoting from an old Slate article.)

There are also the more traditional statues of Buddhas and altar pieces towards the front of the temple. It was pretty jam-packed though so Andrea and I did not linger for long. Here you can see the detailing continuing along the sides of the building. I want this to be all of my window frames, should I ever own a house.


Skull posts on the fence.

Each of these rows hangs hundreds, maybe thousands of small ornaments that can be bought very cheaply and are said to bring the buyer good luck and fortune. The buyer should write their name on the ornament then hang it alongside the others on the stupa. When a rung gets full they simply hoist the whole thing up and add a larger one below. I kept my little ornament thing and did not write my name on it and it is hanging in my nook in my apartment here in New York and it will probably come with me on all my journeys. Why? Because I'm a rebel.

Wishing well pavilion.





These are the charms, up close, that hang from those stupa...

An entire sidewalk shaded by them.

This is a tomb.

Yes.

The artist designed it and built it with the intention of it someday housing his remains. The general public is not allowed inside.



As you might be able to tell from my ambivalent face all of this was a lot to take in. Like, it was awesome, but also... a lot.


THIS IS A DAMN BATHROOM.


Bathrooms, women's side.


Pop cultural carvings as shrunken-ish heads, hanging from the trees all around the complex. Spotted here:  Hellraiser's Pinhead, Batman, some faun-looking thing, Hellboy, and Gollum.


Then it was noon and the whole place was cleared out in minutes, for the lunch hour break. It was actually kind of impressive how quickly they moved the crowds through and dispersed them.

Then we were all standing around the grounds directly in front/outside the White Temple. And the selfie sticks were present, oh yes.

Goodbye, White Temple! You are truly an austere and incredible attraction.


Oh ride for the day, a van we shared only with our tour guide and her driver/husband. They were lovely. The van was luxe, all the bottles of water we could drink!

For lunch they asked us what we wanted and we asked for something that Chiang Rai is known for. So they took us to a small place and served us up a bowl of noodles 'n broth, which had some congealed blood stuff happening that I was not keen on.


Our guide bringing some glasses for drinks and some pre-lunch crunchy bits!

Yes to the greens, the tomato, the oddly mollusk-like mushrooms, the greens, the crunch peanut mixture on top. NO TO THE CONGEALED BLOOD. No, southeast Asia/Germany. NO.

Some pickled veg and fried rice on the side.

Moving on, it was time for... The Black House, or Baan Dam. Again, another artist, Thawan Duchanee's, interpretation of Thai Buddhism filtered through his own bizarre and frankly, staggering collection of morbid shit. According to Atlas Obscura, one of my favorite go-to hunting grounds for odd places to visit:
Baan Dam is Thawan Duchanee’s artful portrayal of hell. The opaque decor and dead animals adorning each room make Duchanee's estate the complete opposite of the White Temple, the glimpse of heaven designed by his teacher Chalermchai Kositpipat.  Although off the beaten track, the Black Temple is not something to be overlooked.



Smaller temple in front of the main structure.

Oh hai.

I love the contrast of different woods in this, and all around the complex.

That Buddha really pops, huh?

Inside.


Self-portrait of the artist/collector.






"Do not seek for understanding in the temple of mysterious feel them my friends from heart to heart"


This is a different table from the last one. There were, in total, four of these (I think).




After walking through, the back of the building.


It was at this point that we realized there were about a dozen more buildings located behind the main temple, and our tour guide basically told us she didn't really care to walk around this site too much and would meet us at the parking lot when we were finished. In hindsight... that's fair. Some of this is kind of gruesome/discomfiting/menacing.





This looks like a banquet hall of the damned.

I do not know what this was but I found it repulsive, like maybe the grossest thing/non-thing in this whole place. Just...entirely too wriggly. It looks like a sentient tumor fucked a pig and is now snuggling their offspring.







Literally a one-bedroom structure. This is the whole thing. Just a bed covered with a bear skin.



Submarine-elephant-whale thing. This was not open to the public and although you could lean up and against it and with your hands against the glass, kind of see that the morbidity continues unchecked inside, I couldn't get a decent photograph of it to save my life.





This guy was... kind of a hoarder, wasn't he? Like if you arranged all the gross shit you've hoarded artfully enough you can pass it off as a statement on the existence of man and not solid evidence of your psychological maladjustment. Or at least.... you can try.

Oooh, swans!

The gift shop. Yeah, no. (Although I thought about it. From my tone I may be misconstruing myself as not having enjoyed the Black House but in truth I did find it fascinating. But fascinating in the way that watching a video of someone popping a pimple or a lion ripping out the throat of a zebra is fascinating, in its disgusting honesty and brutality, because I can't look away from ugly, terrible things.)

For our last stop of the day, we headed to Wat Phra Doi Suthep. This is on the other side of Chiang Mai so it was a couple hours of driving from the Black House. This afforded us ample opportunity for watching the scenery (rolling hills with a few far-off mountains and some strawberry farms, plus a handful of temples), catching up on some of our podcasts, and napping. And then, passing through Chiang Mai, we were in the university district, and then climbing Doi Suthep mountain, and then finally, after taking a little elevator and climbing some stairs, we were at the entrance to our last site of the day! I also have to put this out there: shoutout to all the bikers we passed climbing the mountain. I don't know how safe it was for you guys to be doing that at sundown but kudos because that thing was steep and that road went on forever and just going past you in the van, watching you basically standing on your bikes to get them to cooperate in your battle against gravity, made me kind of tired. Well done, bikerpeople.


The Bodhi tree sheltering everything on this terrace...


Little temple nugget probably basking in the residual heat of the stone from a day's worth of sunlight beating on it. Did I want to take him home with me? Do you have even have to ask?

In case you wanted to check in, I suppose.

Inside, where the monks were in the middle of their worship. I felt a little awkward even being there but our guide assured us it was okay and then told something I thought was pretty interesting: apparently the path of monk is a common one for disadvantaged men from rural communities, especially as many temples will get the boys an education while they train to become monks. However, they're allowed to leave at any time they want. And they can return, but they're only allowed to leave and return twice (I think) before they cannot come and rejoin the temple again. She was telling us that her husband was actually a monk, or training to be one, for a while when he was younger.

What up, USA!? 


Cool.


People doing religion things.



The sun started setting and it was for real an hour of the fairies, it was just beautiful.



Yeah. I was pretty enamored of the solid gold stupa. Can you blame me?

Yeah, cut it out with the noise.

Doi Suthep by night.

Walking to the edges of the temple area, you could see all of Chiang Mai below.




These pillars were pretty boss...

...but the ceiling covered in astrological symbols was cooler.

Sala tree, I am the height of laziness but you can read about it there if you're interested.

Then it was back to Chiang Mai, where our lovely guide and driver (I did learn their names but to be fair, this day of journeying was back in February and it is now May, which I guess attests to both my bad long-term memory for names and also my tardiness as a blogger) dropped us off by the old town. We headed to a vegetarian restaurant we'd passed the night before. This was.... so good. Just a classic Thai-flavor filled stir fry. So. good. Andrea got this bonkers fried green things that smelled amazing. We finished it off with some mango sticky rice. Delightful.


Then we haggled with, like, four tuk-tuk drivers before we finally found one who would take us all the way our to our guesthouse, about 15 minutes outside the city, for a reasonable price. But we did eventually find a guy, and we tipped him well even though he went the most roundabout way and (I think, probably) got a little lost along the way. Just what you want for your late-night, mostly-dark journey back to the small town you kind only sort of know only landmarks in!



Learning was done by all.

The next day we took our time in the morning, and then biked back into Chiang Mai. Andrea had big plans for a massage and I had more wandering to do.
Roadside altars.


But first, a lunch of Burmese cuisine at The Swan. This place was awesome. We order a medley of salads and some chicken meatballs and even though I was super full I left NOTHING behind because when is the next time I will get to have Burmese food? The green tea salad was maybe my favorite. But honestly they were all great.







So bomb dot com.



Cool.

Town hall.

Ew, guys. No. Just no.

After a short stroll Andrea and I parted ways. She to her massage and I to visit a couple more temples. First up, Wat Chiang Man, or as I like to remember it, the one with the elephants and the supposedly very important Buddha that I couldn't find.



Can you count how many stray animals are in this photo? Hint: it's more than three.


Elephants all up in here.

"The sacred elephant encircled stupa"





Oh yeah, super important crystal and marble Buddhas! Let's see these guys...


Buddhas of the week.

Is that you, crystal and marble Buddhas?

No seriously, I don't know if it is or not. I never did figure out if that was them or not.

This guy was super devoted to his job regardless of whose shoes got destroyed in the process. Cool, good for you I guess guy.

Main ubusot (temple) of Wat Chiang Man in the late afternoon sun.

Local restaurant. So many selfies being taken.

Next up: Wat Phra Singh, perhaps one of the most notable temples of Chiang Mai. Here's where it all went awry. See, the plan was for Andrea and I to meet back here at a certain time. I arrived there, walked around a bit, and waited until what I believed was the appointed time and then for about 15 minutes after. I started to seriously doubt my memory and thought maybe we'd agreed to meet an hour later than I had believed and wandered off to get some coffee and wait it out... right as she showed up, 20 minutes late because her massage ran longer than she'd expected. She waited for about a half hour and left... right before I returned to wait for her again. At that point I sat around for an hour, getting increasingly upset and angry before walking back along the main road to where we'd parked our bikes. Thankfully she'd had the presence of mind to park herself at an open-front coffee shop along the way so I easily saw her as I was walking back.

Classic 90's era, pre-cell phone level nonsense. Frustrating and time-wasting, but not entirely either of our's fault.





Upsettingly life-life. And also... gold-flaked.

Same gate, Tha Phae gate, by night.

After the frustrating of several hours of missed connections we were long past due for some cocktails, and found a bar with a nice railing to lean on as we watched the world go by.

And then we found the hipster mecca of Chiang Mai!

Complete with indie-rock-ish band cranking out tunes and a caravan of food trucks slinging all manner of Thai and Western junk food.

And, of course, hay bales for everyone to sit on.

Andrea's first attempt. No veggie burgers though. So sad.




Fellow travelers' messages of love and hope.

Andrea's second choice, a delicious looking noodle bowl.

I drank my dinner. Mulled wine for the win, this shit was delicious!

One more night market...


Spice shopping.


The next day brought a beautiful sunrise which I got to see as I waited with Andrea for her ride to the elephant sanctuary, where she'd scheduled a half-day of retired elephant pampering.

I'm not that into elephants though. I know what you're thinking, what are you even doing going to Thailand if you don't like massages or elephants? Just living my life, guy. Don't judge. So I decided to take the bicycle out to tour around the small town we were staying in, Saraphi. We'd seen bits of it while traveling in and out of Chiang Mai but I thought it might be interesting to see a small town, after having wandered around two larger cities (Bangkok, Chiang Mai) and one mid-sized one (Phuket Town).

First up, I kept seeing all these signs for this bee farm on the road into town and decided to ride in and see if I could visit it...

Turns out, it was just the shop. The actual farm is located farther outside of town. Lies!

Adorable small-town railway station.

Saraphi main drag.

We had a moment.

Oh what's that, the Office of Honorary Consulate of the Czech Republic is this way? How conveniently located, in this small town outside a mid-sized city in the mountains of northern Thailand. (I'm joking. Mostly. But seriously, why is this here????)


Seriously, AMERICA MUCH?!


Bee School. The lie rolls on, gathers disciples.


Why, what's your small town's local religious building look like? No, not this grandiose? Too bad for you.



LIIIIIEEEEEES.





Another small local temple.





Helpful(ish)!


Soon after this I headed back and relaxed with some coffee and then before I knew it Andrea was back. Some packing later and we were on our way to the very, very small Chiang Mai airport. Unfortunately I left my camera's battery charger back at the guesthouse, something I realized mere minutes after our host had dropped us on the curb outside the airport. This is my kind of luck. We spent a lot of the rest of the day in airports, first in Chiang Mai as our flight was slightly delayed and then in Bangkok. We finally got back to my place in Hanoi in the evening.


So that's it. I did the damn thing. That was my second and last (for the time being) trip to Thailand! Like I said, Andrea was a great traveling companion and I thought it was an awesome trip. So many temples, so many markets, and I don't know I can ever actually get bored of just walking around, watching people react to that kind of stuff. People are so weird, they're the best. Or the worst. I don't know, I think I need to revisit the White Temple and the Black House a few more times so I can firm up my opinion on that.

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